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  • Samantha Attinello RSW

The Unexpected Journey: The Pain of Infertility

It’s ironic to think that during their youth women and couples do everything they can to avoid an unplanned pregnancy. It is never given a second thought that having a baby and starting a family will ever be an issue. For some couples the journey towards starting a family can be painful and frustrating.

The truth is 1 in 9 women experience infertility. Women and couples often struggle in silence.

Questions like "do you have kids?" or "do you want kids?" become painful. Every birth announcement, baby shower invitation and pregnant family member or friend become more anxiety provoking and depressing. This causes you to become more avoidant and disengaged. Every negative pregnancy test can cause increased hopelessness and anxiety. Every period causes you to feel emotionally distressed.

You may even start to notice changes in your relationship such as increased distance, tension and feeling of loneliness. One partner may take blame and responsibility for the struggle, leaving increased tension in the relationship. This tension may also result in feeling isolated and alone.

Struggles with infertility often result in experiencing significant symptoms of depression and anxiety. Some of the symptoms can include: increased feeling of sadness, increased anxiety, worries about judgment, difficulty finding joy, feeling of hopelessness, irritability, feeling of guilt and difficulty with sleep.

Realizing that you are not alone in this journey can help. Being able to get support with friends and family to ventilate your emotions may also be of use. Improving your communication with your partner and setting goals outside starting a family is useful. Lastly, knowing when to reach out for professional help when you need too.

B Healthy Counselling helps women and couples during this challenging time.

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